Do you find at the end of the day you’re emotionally and physically exhausted because people come to you and share their problems? Do friends always say, “I knew I could tell you…”, stick at your cubicle, or trap you on an un-ending phone call?
This is a classic case of not having personal boundaries. I’m transitioning out of being that person myself and I wanted to share this simple, powerful thought of deserving your own space, both literally and figuratively.
And here’s how you make it stop. You say, “Wow, I’m so sorry your boyfriend broke up with you, your head is on fire, this person was mean to you, but I have to get back to this now.”
That’s right; you demand your own time.
Simple and powerful. It’s not rude. It won’t make you look bad—in fact it’ll garnish more respect for you. It’s not affecting this “relationship” because honey, it’s no relationship if this person is draining you. This person needs to talk to someone else–so the sooner you put up your own boundary, you’re actually helping them get help, too.
We’ve all heard about putting up boundaries, but it’s usually couched in terms of being angry with this encroacher—like, “You should just tell them to bug off!”.
Nope, you’re not angry at them, just possibly disappointed in yourself—for not giving yourself the time and space you deserve.
So ask firmly, but plainly, no need to be upset, guilty, or angry. You’re just blocking out your time to do with as you want. And according to the experts, it’s a learned behavior, so get on it like you do triceps curls.
And notice how you have more respect from others and more importantly, more time and energy for you.