I finally gave in and bought another pair of sunglasses. Earlier this year I had invested in my first pair of Chanel’s. I thought the price was ridiculous at first, until I prorated the daily cost based on my usage living in Southern California, which turned out to be less than $1/day. They came numbered, with a certificate of authenticity, and I felt like a million bucks every time I put them on.
The Price Of Fashion
They also came with a very large case, one that was a bit of a pain to fit into purses because of its size and weight but I endured, until my trip to Italy in October, when my sunglass etiquette went off the rails. I started “carrying” them on my head or sneaking them into the inside pocket of whatever purse and since they seemed to be scratch resistant, when I came back from vacation, I came with a new bad habit.
If you know me, you know that I’m occasionally forgetful; it’s an unfortunate bi-product of being creative. Fast Co Design just covered a study which found “that thinking and forgetting are intrinsically connected—that to think of new ideas can cause the forgetting of old ideas, and that such forgetting may play an essential role in promoting the ability to think creatively.” Creative people are also more likely to suffer from mental illness but I digress.
How many times had I freaked out about the location of those sunglasses only to find them on top of my head, or in the bottom of whatever purse—scratches be damned—until that day just over a month ago when I couldn’t find them at all. I searched everywhere: my purses, my house, my car. I said mantras over and over demanding that the universe restore my property.
They are not lost, I told myself, firmly.
I squinted for a full week before I begrudgingly pulled my emergency glasses out of the armrest in my car, scratched, warped and oily. All the while that stupid fat Chanel case was mocking me. If only I’d been carrying it, my sunglasses would be where they belonged.
I don’t want to have to buy new glasses I whined to myself. I want MY sunglasses. They were expensive!
But back to my purchase, since it was Christmas anyway, and I had rewards dollars to spend, I decided to suck it up and just buy a new pair. Even though some part of me really believed I could find them, I told my inner idealist that since they hadn’t materialized from the ether in the last month and a half, I needed to grow up, get real and go shopping before I went blind.
They were Fendi and black. They weren’t my glasses but they did have the advantage of a slim, soft, purse-friendly case. I pulled them out and put them on my head considering whether or not I would throw out that other case. I grabbed it with the intention of parking my emergency pair inside, opened it, and low and behold, there were my missing sunglasses.
Blonde, Not Blonde.
No dear reader, it wasn’t the first place I looked. Why you ask? Because I was utterly and completely certain they were not in that case. Yes, the thought did cross my mind a couple of times to look in there, but I would push it out immediately.
I hate that case, I would grumble like it was the case’s fault I’d lost my glasses because it was too fat to carry. I know they were in my purse but how could they have fallen out?!
Then I would engage in the loop of looking for them in places I’d already looked but hadn’t found them, like under my car seat, between my sofa cushions or in the stack of papers on my desk, again.
Now I’d like to tell you that this is the first time something like this has happened to me but it isn’t. In fact, since November, I’ve had more than one experience like this in quick succession to show me, experiences where I was absolutely positive that some external force, whether person, thing or situation was being withheld, preventing me from getting what I wanted. I was wrong and humbled every time.
In every case, I would have gotten what I wanted, and much sooner if I could have just trusted the guidance—open the case already—and gotten out of my own way. I could have also avoided the wasted time and energy of the emotional detour caused by focusing on what I didn’t have.
Got It? Get It? Good.
It’s a lesson I’m going to take with me into 2015 and one I’d like to gift to you. It’s one of ease, certainty and humility.
What you want is available, probably close by and wants to unfold for you easily. But if you’re still blaming clients or circumstances; in a loop doing what you think will work over and over again, even though it doesn’t; or ignoring the intuition that tells you to get help, to travel, to make more money, whatever it is you truly desire that doesn’t seem to be happening in your business or life; that’s on you.
If you deep down desire it, it’s supposed to be yours. Your dreams are the right size for you, the fact that you desire them is proof of that even though the how-to-get-them part may confuse you. So why not make this year the one where you stop getting in your own way, get the help you need, and then allow it in.
Happy New Year!