I’ve been thinking a lot about influence and the currency it has in our culture.

As defined by Webster, influence is the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself. Share of Influence is the social metric, a combination of who is doing the talking, about you, and in what way and then what the influencer can cause people to do. It’s not as clear cut as it sounds though, and most solo entrepreneurs don’t spend a ton of time trying to track the measurements. They just want the status.

Adults whose mothers showed “extravagant” or “caressing” affection were much less likely than the others to feel stressed and anxious and were happier and more resilient. They were also less likely to report hostility, distressing social interactions, and psychosomatic symptoms. How can you treat yourself with extravagant affection?

I’m reading all of these end-of-the-decade round-ups with interest but when I see exercises that ask me to write down my own milestones from the last decade, I feel the urge to dig in my heals.

The last decade was one of the most challenging–if transformative–decades of my life so far. I lost the two family members that made me feel loved in the world. I was spat out on the other end of a job I thought would solve my financial problems and released friendships where I found myself again in the role of chronic over-giver. The first few years felt as though the ground kept moving and would never stop and the thought of looking back brings to mind the biblical story of Lot’s wife who looked back at Sodom and turned to salt.

Sometimes you have to rip the bandage off.

Sometimes there is no easy way to get started, to move, to say goodbye to do that thing you know you’re supposed to do, but you can’t bring yourself to.

Lately, I’ve been finding the cultural obsession with “getting things on the cheap” beyond draining. Whether it’s some tchotchke, an experience, or more often the services of another creative person, for some, the only way to win, or spark joy, is to reduce the value of…READ MORE

So what’s the real reason you’re not getting what you envision for your life and business? Because you keep settling for close. Close isn’t what you asked for. It’s not terrible, it’s just close. It’s tricky because close seems like it’s a fit. Part of close even feels like a fit.

Escape plans make you feel like you’re spontaneous, like you’re responding to some kind of miraculous divine intervention and they’re fun because they create instant momentum. They temporarily throw your life into chaos—you tell yourself it’s the good kind—which means you’re distracted from what the real problem is.

Sometimes I write about topics that are unpopular, or take an unpopular stance because I’m working through my feelings and because I know that other people are working through theirs. As an artist, I believe part of my job is to ignite opinions and discussion on purpose.

All of a sudden, he lifts his left butt cheek into the air, throws the leg attached to it over his right hip and flips himself from back to belly like some kind of gymnast. Then perfecting the routine, he lifts his right arm over his head in one magnificent reach, grabs the wiper warmer, and sends everything around it crashing to the floor.

So I do what any mother with a half open, poopy diaper does while her child holds onto the edge of the change table with a grip so intentional in its glee that it’s impossible to roll him back: I learn to change him upside down.

If you’ve ever worked with me you know that one of the ways I approach visibility is according to one of its underused definitions: available. As in, what are you available for?

It seems as if overnight, what I am personally available for has shifted dramatically. Having done this work a while now, I know that there is no overnight success, transformation or change. The moments of change are swift but the circumstances and seeds planted are usually a long time coming. Regardless, I feel radically different.