Adults whose mothers showed “extravagant” or “caressing” affection were much less likely than the others to feel stressed and anxious and were happier and more resilient. They were also less likely to report hostility, distressing social interactions, and psychosomatic symptoms. How can you treat yourself with extravagant affection?

I’m reading all of these end-of-the-decade round-ups with interest but when I see exercises that ask me to write down my own milestones from the last decade, I feel the urge to dig in my heals.

The last decade was one of the most challenging–if transformative–decades of my life so far. I lost the two family members that made me feel loved in the world. I was spat out on the other end of a job I thought would solve my financial problems and released friendships where I found myself again in the role of chronic over-giver. The first few years felt as though the ground kept moving and would never stop and the thought of looking back brings to mind the biblical story of Lot’s wife who looked back at Sodom and turned to salt.

Lately, I’ve been finding the cultural obsession with “getting things on the cheap” beyond draining. Whether it’s some tchotchke, an experience, or more often the services of another creative person, for some, the only way to win, or spark joy, is to reduce the value of…READ MORE