So the fact that we’re thriving this year means we should say yes to every opportunity right? This week I received a lot of offers that I could definitely perceive as opportunities for expansion. Like today, at the LA Times Travel Show, there was an opportunity to zipline across the convention room floor. It looked like fun and even though I was feeling less than 100%, have been known to suffer from vertigo, and am usually the girl who is in the exception category of most freak statistics; I figured I’d better do it.
You see, I ran into an acquaintance, who like me is on the hustle and she said that she did and that I should because it was fun and I couldn’t possibly let her think that I was a chicken the next time I ran into her and she asked if I did it and I didn’t, COULD I? So I signed the waiver releasing the company of responsibility in the event of my sudden (and likely) death.
Clipped into the seat-belt-diaper and holding a very heavy clip that made me feel like a carcass ready to hang in a butcher shop, I started to climb the stairs. Three steps from the top, my vertigo kicked in and I suddenly flashed back to the time I was almost at the top of a climbing wall in a rock gym and had to get down. That time, it would have been beneficial to conquer my fear. This time, I knew it wasn’t.
Why am I up here, I thought while my knees were shaking. I’m tired. I feel like crap. I have no real desire to conquer this fear today and really, it’s just because I don’t want to deal with the judgement of someone I don’t really know. I reminded myself that grade six ended a long time ago and then, here’s what I did.
I said, no.
No to the dude at the top of the stairs holding out his hand, no to the lady at the bottom of the stairs who was telling me how fun it was and yes to my tired, off-kilter self.
I’ve written before that I’m a recovering “bottle-up” type who wants people to like me but I also really want to help. So sometimes I’ll say yes to men who ask for dates, potential business opportunities, events, experience — give it or them a chance. Even if I start off with the best of intentions, if I’m headed in the wrong direction, my inner guidance system course corrects so that I don’t do things that don’t align with my beliefs, values, goals and ultimately my own self care. Usually it requires cleaning up a mess which is why I’m getting much more comfortable with saying no. I’ve learned that just because you’re expanding and upleveling doesn’t mean you have to lower your own standards, cross boundaries and work at the pace that others expect of you.
Be kind to yourself. Saying no to others means saying yes, to you.
Ever said “yes” to someone you should have said “no” to? What happened?